Defeating Self Doubt

Throughout the ordeal that I went through that landed me behind bars, I experienced self doubt to a degree that I had never experienced. After all, I was a United States
Marine, the physical embodiment of discipline and honor. Some of the
thoughts that coursed through my mind while I sat in the county jail
were:

How, after all my training and accomplishments, could I have landed in jail?
Was it all a sham?
What monster inside of me reared its ugly head and destroyed my life?
How did it come to this?
Who am I really?

Once I was released, this self doubt crept into everything I did. People felt uneasy around me because I was uneasy with myself. I accepted low paying jobs, doubting my
ability to do any better. I accepted a filthy pay by the week sleeping
room since I doubted I could live any better. In short, the swagger
that I walked with when I was a Marine was gone; I had lost my mojo.

The Evolution of Self Doubt

Most people first experience self doubt when it comes to the opposite sex. To curb this self doubt, young adults will dress a certain way, act a
certain way, and do certain things (like having sex with multiple
partners. Men and women whose only pursuit is sexual validation in any
form usually have deep self doubts). When these individuals enter the
work force, their self doubt either increases or decreases depending on
their position and accomplishments. If these individuals come out of
college, land a great job, and fit in with their careers then their
self doubt is quieted. If these individuals land a mediocre job with
slow or no advancement, self doubts begin to arise. “Is this the best I
can do?” As they progress in life, regret piles up. They lose their
youthful figures, have kids, settle into BS jobs, and start to
stagnate. In some cases, they run into tragedy (like I did) and find
themselves having to start over. Statements such as “I should have done
this better”, “Where did all my time go?” and “I used to have this or
that, I used to be on top of my game” become commonplace. Dreams dim.
Self doubt destroys life.

If you will notice, self doubt begins with ones internal dialogue.This self talk sabotages future progress and prevents them from taking bold steps into the right
direction. Self doubt is the result of questioning oneself and ones
abilities. That’s why in books like Think and Grow Rich and Unlimited Power,
the writers stress the importance of getting your mind right. If you
havent gotten and read these books yet, you really are doing yourself a
disservice.

The Opposite of Self Doubt

The opposite of self doubt is self confidence.

self-confidence. A, noun. 1, assurance, self-assurance, confidence, authority, sureness. freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities- Webster’s Dictionary

Self Confidence is something that is programmed within all of us by our parents, skill sets that we have developed, our victories, and challenges that we have overcome. There
are also ways to build and reclaim the self confidence that you have
lost over time. It can be as simple for you as it was for me with the
following three steps:

Acknowledge past successes

Every Marine is taught to create a wall dedicated to their personal accomplishments. Awards, trophies, tokens of appreciation, battle trophies, and pictures of their travels
provide a physical memory of every reason they have to be proud of
themselves. Sometimes you might feel like you haven’t accomplished
anything, and during those times having a “me wall” gives you a reason
to press forward. Have you ever been to an accomplished professionals
office and not seen a wall full of their degrees and accreditation? If
you have no awards to fill your wall with then stop playing Halo, stop
kicking it on the corner, and make some things happen. Not for the sake
of collecting awards, but for the sake of creating success in your life.

Surround yourself with positive, challenging people

Positive people can have a massive impact on you and your self image. When I first seriously dedicated myself to getting big and hitting the gym, I would work out
with people that were at or below my level of strength and ability. But
if you want to accomplish anything, you need to work with people who
already have what you want and get on their level. I found the biggest
guy in the gym, asked him to take me under his wing, and the result was
gains in weight and strength that I didnt think were possible for my
size. Positive individuals like my training partner will challenge you
physically and mentally when you need it most. Thats another reason why
its so important I have talked alot about the importance of networking
and assembling teams of people that will help you accomplish your goals
in previous posts. Teams are powerful, thats the reason Alcoholics
Anonymous and similar treatment programs are so effective – they
leverage powerful and positive team dynamics.

Watch your Thoughts

Thoughts are things – Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich: The Landmark Bestseller–Now Revised and Update...

Really start to pay attention to how you speak to yourself, and how you visualize things. Do you automatically assume the worst? Or do you visualize and prepare for
your best performance? Self Doubt is thought driven. Therefore, to
defeat the thoughts that produce self doubt, counter them with thoughts
that produce self confidence. Instead of imagining defeat, imagine
victory and the end result that you desire. Instead of letting your
mind get away with saying things like “I cant do this because…” counter
with “I can do this because…” Another technique that Olympic athlete’s
use is to visualize what could go wrong and then visualize how to
correct the error in mid-stride.

Self Doubt and self confidence are practices that become traits. If you practice confidence, you will embody it naturally over a period of time, and the money and success
you seek will come. Dont let your self doubt sabotage your life. Go
forth confidently and victoriously. Otherwise, all the money in the
world wont help you.